"his family has kidney problems"

i talked to my mom tonight on the phone... and she almost killed me. i fell off my chair i was laughing so hard. in the past few years, conversations with my mom have become increasingly weird.. but unbelievably amusing. maybe she's growing braver in her oldened age.. maybe she's convinced that, now that i'm 22, certain issues should begin to be discussed. whatever the case, i personally think that she's just nuts.

in addition to the usual comments on health and driving and school and poop regularity, she's started to hint/blurt things out about boys. now i dunno about the rest of the world, but there are specific topics that my mom and i talk to each other about. "boys" is not typically one of them. but alas, she's curious and paranoid, so why not?

oh indeed, why not. but her suggestions and declarations are UNBELIEVABLE. she warns, and she states things factually, as if her unreasonable fictional imaginings will actually come about. i.e., tonight, when expressing her concern about a friend of mine, she casually (or not so casually) mentioned that ... "[it'd be bad to allow things to go beyond friendship because] his family has kidney problems."

so now i know. from now on, beware you male specimens, if i meet you, i'll have to 1) tell you that one of my grandmothers died of a heart attack so that you can worry about the future of our kids' health, and 2) ask you about any of your family's hereditary problems .. because well you know, it's always possible that a simple meeting/conversation will turn into a deep trustful friendship, which of course will develop into some intense dating + romance. and then soon after, we'll be married and pop out the 2.5 children. definitely.

as i said, my mom's insane.