this is real?

"Diploma, done. Now what?":

For about one year in my youth, I thought I wanted to design cars. My parents signed me up for a stack of car magazines, and I poured over them, sketching imaginative visions in a notebook beside my bed. Bouncing along in the school bus, I proudly told my friends about my destined profession -- ''automotive engineer" -- with the kind of certainty I have long since forgotten.

I couldn't help but wonder what that kid who devoted hours to sketching out his fantasies would say to me now.

once upon a time, long long ago, i fantasized about being:
1) a firefighter
2) a pediatrician
3) a FBI agent
4) a landscape designer, haha

... but in all honesty, i can't remember all the things that i dreamed about doing.. or becoming; they were whims and floating wishes. nowadays, i just want to find a "job that'll make me happy." if only i knew what that job actually was..

i must admit that my current position isn't exactly thrilling, but for the time being, it's actually okay. it's a good experience, and i'm learning things that i wouldn't learn anywhere else, and i can say that i don't regret taking this job -- and denying others. and yet, it doesn't get me out of the bed in the mornings...

so what does? diploma done. but where to next? and after that? my diploma's lying in my closet somewhere (or maybe it's on my bookshelf, i can't remember)... should i take better care of that $160,000 piece of paper?

man, kids are lied to so much.. everything from "there aren't any negative numbers, oh just kidding" to "once you're out of college, you can do anything you want! oh wait, what about grad school and resume-building-experiences? and by the way, rent is $800." poor kiddos, we should start telling them at kindergarten that they should eat PB&J, watch cartoons, and stay 3'5" forever. once you get taller, things aren't as simple.