home improvement

i find it really weird that i still have this blog. it's for myself entirely, and i vaguely recall its existence every few months. it's kinda neat though, "neat" like the piles of journals from age 10. i like writing, i always have, and though i read and write less these days, it doesn't mean that the need or desire is gone.

home improvement. i LOVE hgtv. there, i said it. i'm not 80 years old, or a stay-at-home mom, or whatever combination of personalities one should be to love hgtv. but i love it. it's great. i learn a lot! it fulfills this insatiable need i have to design and create -- with my hands. (the discovery channel sorta serves the same purpose, only it gets my brain going). i'm not a huge tv-watcher, but those two channels <-- <3. that's a heart, not "less than 3".

anyway, so i periodically watch hgtv and learn about home improvement tips, or how to sell a house, or what to look for in renovations, or how to deal with a contractor, or what kind of insulation is best, or the tricks to putting up drywall, and i think....... oh man, it'd be SO cool to have a house to fix and design and build and whatever else. and what if it were in the greek islands too? YEAH!

and then, i look at myself and think -- you're nuts.

and it's true, i am nuts. i can't own a house yet. i can't even own a dog yet. i can barely take care of my zucchini plant without it going nuts. let's focus on one thing at a time, okay?

so the thing i'm currently focusing on -- or rather, procrastinating on -- is the very immediate and real issue of deciding whether or not i should apply to grad school for fall of 2011. and if so, where. and why.

this is life improvement, and somehow, i'm less excited about it, mostly because it's a harder decision to make.

to go back to school, or not.

argument uno: if i'm worried about "having a master's" in the future for whatever need or reason, i might as well go back now when the time is right. i'm the right age, i could take a break from work right now, and i'm interested in something that i could see myself getting a master's in. it's expensive, but it's an investment in my future, and it could lead to more job opportunities and well.. life opportunities. and i'm not settled or tied down to anything, so moving across the country, or 40 miles north, really wouldn't be a problem at all. plus, how cool would it be to "have to learn" for a year? that'd be my JOB -- learning! woo! learning about learning!

argument dos: but what will a master's really get me? my career path is still pretty up-in-the-air, and whether i stay at galileo or end up elsewhere (in a different org/company or in a different field entirely), who says that i need a masters to advance? the big wigs don't all have masters, and the bay area is notorious for not requiring advanced degrees to.. well, advance. it's a free-for-all, based on talent and ability, and that's fantastic! right? plus, one year of grad school easily amounts to $50k, and if i just continued to work -- in a challenging and fantastic position, i could learn on the job and make money while i learn. isn't that the best way?

argh. life improvement. i don't remember having such a hard time making a decision. that's probably crap, since i've never been good at making decisions. but this time, it's really a choice. what do i want to do? and while i'm not quite aged yet, i'm no young whippersnapper anymore either, so my decisions ARE focusing my direction more and more.

somehow, i think building patios and designing floorplans would be easier.

cardboard boxes

let me tell you about cardboard boxes.

cardboard boxes are not, generally, worth a poetic ode. but hell, i've got a pile -- some creased and folded and others still upright, full, and stacked -- in every corner of my current house, and some of these boxes have been with me for the past 5, going on 6, years. that's worth something, right?

i can barely explain the multitude of differences between corrugated, single-wall, double-wall, make-your-own-size, and fold-it-this-way boxes. there are big ones, square ones, fat ones, huge ones that i ALWAYS mistakenly throw books into, itty-bitty odd sized ones from amazon that fit absolutely nothing (or just one really important thing), and non-taped ones whose bottoms always threaten to bow out. they hold everything, and sometimes nothing. some have been wrapped in every single type of masking, clear, duct, and scotch tape, and there are others that look suspiciously unused. and there are at least 3 that stay filled from one house to the next... to the next... across country and city lines.

why, in november, am i writing about boxes?

because i moved to a different house last may (approximately 6 months ago), and i still haven't moved in. there are 3 full boxes in the dining room/office/study, 2 full ones in the family room near the fireplace, a whole pile of empty ones (like... 15 of them?) in the corner at the front of the house, 3 half-opened ones in my bedrooms, and gawd, so many more.

at this point, i wonder if it's worth it to bother opening and unpacking them. i'll most likely be moving again in 6 months. and if i haven't needed the items in those boxes for the last 6, who says i'll need them in the next 6? maybe i should just chuck them out now.

why am i moving so much?

in my childhood, i lived in three very different houses and places. i unrooted myself and switched to an all-new city for college, then again after college, then again one year after that. and now, while i've been in the same general 40-mile radius for the past 5 years, i've lived in 4 houses. dude, ugggg.

in reality, maybe this is good. i appreciate cardboard boxes. i LOVE uline. i can tape and pack like no other. and i bet i accumulate stuff slower than you. haha. maybe.

in 6 months, i wonder how many boxes will still be lying around.